Cadwallader University Will Win The NCAA Tournament - Reasons Why By Dave Barend

10. The number of losses Cadwallader has: zippo. 

That’s right, they are the only undefeated team left. 

Uh Dave, according to your own Domination Rankings, NYU Women are also undefeated 

Well Cadwallader is the ONLY undefeated team, if you, like me, forgot about them.

9. I just received a Cadwallader Eagles t-shirt as a gift.

That has to mean something.

Then again, I have received many Buffalo Bills T-shirts as gifts.

So clearly that means nothing.

8. They are the only team with its own theme song, “Go For It.”

Well all right, McNeese State had that rapping manager with his boom box.

But "Go For It" was sung by Billy Preston who was on the first episode of SNL.

And did he sing Go For It?

No, no he did not.

7. Their nickname is the Eagles, and the Eagles just won the Super Bowl.

This is clearly the year of the Eagles.

Uh Dave, isn’t Boston College also the Eagles, and don’t they stink?

Yes, yes they do.

6. They have a player on the team who can’t miss and who is named, of course, Swish.

Swish also happens to be a woman

Yup, a woman playing on a men’s team.

If by chance that upsets you, please relax and take a deep breath.

And then remember it’s only the reverse that upsets you.

5. They have Bernard King who played a bit for the New York Knicks who are awesome.

Well except when they play the Celtics.

Or the Cavs .

Or the Thunder.

Or any good team.

4. They are coached by Gabe Kaplan

Uh who’s Gabe Kaplan?

Stop it! You don’t know the multitalented Gabe Kaplan who starred in Welcome Back Kotter?

What’s Welcome Back Kotter?

Stop it! Welcome Back Kotter was a fantastic sitcom.

What’s a sitcom?

Stop it!

3. They also have Michael Warren who played a bit for UCLA before starring in Hill Street Blues?

Uh Dave, what’s Hill Street Blues?

Stop it!!

2. Cadwallader is the best name in all of college hoops.

As evidence I point to the moment Gabe Kaplan told his wife he had a good feeling about the coaching job at Cadwallader.

She then told him she'd give him a good feeling if he took a shower - she’d wash his Cadwallader.

1. I’ve seen this movie before.

I mean literally, I’ve seen this movie before.

The movie Fastbreak where Cadwallader University wins the big game vs Nevada State.

Or maybe they lose.

I’m old and it’s been awhile.

But here’s the link for the whole movie on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvctMhyix6g

It’s worth the watch.

I think.

Dave Barend - Grand Poobah

College Basketball Times